Understanding the heart Relying - The Rike

We are never completely separated from the support and nurturing of external conditions, but we still do not see it as an opportunity to lack the responsibility of steering the boat of our life.

Life is about reciprocity, because the nature of everything in this world cannot exist separately. In the first unfortunate steps, or when we encounter great adversities that we ourselves cannot cope with, the wholehearted and reasonable support of those around us is always a very essential need. It will give us strength and confidence to stabilize and move forward. But if the good feeling from that refuge repeats itself over and over again, it builds in us habits that make it impossible for us to let go or that we don't consciously let go. We've fallen into an "emotional addiction." Without that emotion, we always feel frustrated and insecure. This situation is dependence.

There was a blind boy who came to his playmate's house. Engrossed in conversation, the boy did not know it was dark, the friend urged the boy to leave quickly and gave him a lamp. The boy asked with a laugh, "What did you give the lamp to a blind man like me for?" The friend then explained: "If you hold this lamp people see you, they will avoid it." Sounding reasonable, the boy happily took the lamp and left. The boy boldly rushed forward because he was sure that everyone would avoid him today. But soon, someone slammed into him and they both fell. In pain and anger, the boy shouted, "Why can't you see my lamp?" The other hugged his stomach and laughed: "Your lamp has been out for a long time, you are blind!"

The blind boy himself can walk the road at night as well as during the day using the special skill he once practiced. But since he was handed the lamp, instead of combining the two, the boy has relied on the lamp completely ignoring his skillful tracking skills. Not seeing the truth of the lamp, not knowing how much or how little oil it had or that it might be blown out by the wind at any moment, yet the boy believed in it absolutely. By the time he had fallen a deaf blow and the boy hadn't known the lamp had gone out, he was blaming someone else. Poor thing!

We ourselves can find the value of happiness with our trained skills, because true happiness is peace and stability of mind. But since life creates so many "lamps" of material and spiritual comfort, we have become fascinated and clinging to them. We devote all our time and energy to buying and cherishing them. We get angry or hostile to each other because of them. I've been around all my human lives for them. We allow these temporary means to turn into the noble purpose of life, forgetting that the nature of these "lamps" is always governed by circumstances. As we often see, money is sometimes full, honor is sometimes honored when humiliated, lust is also sometimes attractive when bored. When we lose or no longer love those feelings, we find that relying on ourselves is most secure. Unfortunately, the precious qualities of our soul may have hardened in the process of absorbing external euphoria. Although they can be revived, we have to find the right way and the process of arousing them is arduous. That's a price that no one would have expected.

Just like when we stumble upon a stone, the brain releases endorphins to neutralize the feeling of pain; Or when we think too stressfully, the brain releases serotonin to calm the nerves. We ourselves have a very high capacity for self-healing. Based on this structure, the medical industry has developed antidepressants such as Prozac and Paxil to help us neutralize bad emotions that we cannot treat at that time. But the danger is that these stimulant drugs mess up the body's circadian cycles, kill nerve cells and can damage memory. Even more damaging is that after a period of taking the drug, the brain's adaptive mechanism tells the body to reduce or completely stop the natural production of endorphins and sérotonin. When the amount of stimulation suddenly drops, it creates an extremely uncomfortable feeling and forces us to take the necessary amount. Addiction has begun to occur.

Therefore, drug regulatory agencies such as the US FDA have banned the use of these drugs, or can only be used in special cases under the prescription of a specialist. Those who take advantage of heroin, morphine or cocaine drugs that are structurally similar to these two hormones can sublimate emotions to the extreme. But after only a few times of taking the drug, they became crazy addicted ghosts and lost all their humanity. It's hard to believe that spirit medicine can also turn into poison.

People with weak psychological structures often show a tendency to rely on them at an early age. Being helped by someone makes me very excited. I think this will save me time, effort, and brainstorming. Many parents love their children too much to let their children work hard, even if they are just very basic tasks that each child has to experience for themselves. So when we grow up, we always have trouble solving difficult problems. When working, we always find ways to be noticed and supported by superiors. When we interact with people, we always expect to be recognized and rewarded. When we fall in love, we are always attracted to and assimilated into the object. The habit of believing in the convenience of external conditions gradually seeps into us, then naturally becomes a type of personality or a way of life. It's only when the object of reliance is gone, and we're completely devastated, that we wake up.

The more science and technology develop, the more opportunities people have to rely on machines. Who doesn't like convenience? In highly developed economic countries, people also use machines. Machines have almost become an inevitable part of life. But the more we rely on machines, the more we lose our inherent capabilities. Many tests show that most people who are "machine addicts" are very lazy to exercise their limbs, lazy to remember and think deeply. As a result, the number of patients is increasing, and the number of absent-minded people is also increasing. We also believe in insurance. If you think that there is an insurance company to take care of, all areas of our life will be very safe, just make money to give to the insurance company. But the truth is that insurance companies only cover the costs of accidents and mishaps, they can't help us heal or share deep problems. So, when we need to patiently listen to others or master our angry emotions, we have absolutely no coping skills. I am doomed to failure.

Many people seek refuge in the spiritual environment after heavy failures due to disputes in life. They believe that the subjects this time are saints, so they will not disappoint them like humans. But the attitude of dependence turns into dependence when they only have strong beliefs without any practice and transformation. Practicing without increasingly losing faith in oneself and entrusting one's happiness and future to others is definitely not the right attitude. There are people who diligently study and even memorize a lot of profound teachings, and then try to make themselves look or live differently from others. But in the end, they still have a lot of difficulties with problems within themselves or with the relatives who live next door. Because that attitude is just a "begging of truth" to give yourself a beautiful portrait, a kind of painting of the proud and isolated ego from everyone. They still haven't had an experience of their own. They absolutely believe and rely on the doctrine, while the doctrine is only valuable as a map that guides the path to happiness. The doctrine itself is not happiness.

When we collapse or are unable to stand because we are separated from our object, we have been manipulated by that object. They can be saints, people who love us very much, or people who are very talented. But in the end, they cannot bear and solve the difficulties stuck in us. They only act as agents, not masters, in our garden of mind. We only need that help in times when we've tried our best and we can't overcome the pressure. Because if we've experienced it, it's clear that the danger of refuge is that it's easy to make us weak. So we'd rather accept the loss of work or property, rather than ask someone else. And if we're someone who loves success and standing out but doesn't want to rely on our strength, we have to accept the price of borrowing. At that time, although we have power and property, we cannot enjoy life because we must always find ways to please those who have more power. We still don't have anything solid of our own.

Well, exile like that was more than enough. It is time for us to have the courage to free ourselves from our feelings of addiction in order to rediscover the true value of human freedom. The process was arduous. Every time we have to get rid of a vehicle "lamp", we have to receive very painful emotions. But we'll feel at peace and confidence soon after, because we're on our way back to restoring our sovereignty. When we wake up, the lucrative auras of money, honor, or lust won't be enough to make us trade for the rest of our lives. Even though we are never completely separated from the support and nurturing of external conditions, especially our loved ones, we must not take it as an excuse to lack the responsibility of steering the boat of our lives. Whenever you find yourself no longer wise and strong enough to continue to coordinate smoothly between the "lamp" and your own ability, courageously let go of the "lamp" at all costs to prioritize returning to take control of your life.