Understanding the heart - Love

If we love ourselves so much, how can we love more people. Even if we love others, we only serve ourselves.

People often joke with each other: "Love is suffering, not loving is loss. It is better to suffer than to suffer." It's a joke. Although being warned that love is suffering is an immutable principle, most people accept suffering in order to feel love. The poet Xuan Dieu once said to us: "How can I live without loving / Do not remember not to love anyone". To live without love means nothing to life. Just fall in love. The more we love, the more mysterious this life will become. If we're afraid of suffering and don't dare to love, are we sure we'll be happier? There are many other things in life that make us miserable, not just love. There are so many people around us who dare to "suffer" to love, why should we be afraid? Is love as scary as we think?

Love is inherently human instinct. But if we love the river, we love the fields, we love our country, we love the unhappy, then we are not miserable. This object of our love is too attractive, can touch our feelings of desire, can make us miss the day or lose food and sleep, can make us defy everything to possess it. The poet Nguyen Du expresses this mood beautifully in the poem: "Took on a word of love/ Forced myself inside/ So the places are idle/ Restless sits unsteadily/ The ghost gives the way the devil gives the way/ Again find the places to go." When our feelings of love explode, we no longer have self-control, and all perceptions or reactions get out of control. We keep rushing forward like sleepwalkers, unaware of where we're going even though we're about to enter a thorny pit. Westerners call this state "fall in love," which means being caught up in love, which can also be understood as falling in love.

The emotion of love is so intense, it overwhelms reason and overwhelms other deep emotional relationships. No wonder anyone who loves becomes more or less blind. We see in the object we love a perfect pink color, very different from what everyone else sees. So we want to undo the boundaries of our ego, to invite that person in. Of course, I also want them to give me half of their hearts. We even wanted to dedicate our lives to them, so we boldly declared our "love to the fullest." In fact, no one gives all their humanity to love others without wanting anything in return. This statement is nothing more than because we can't control our feelings of wanting to be satisfied, or because we want to see our value through the care of others. Because when that pink color in our eyes fades, our hearts no longer vibrate.

Such love is just an exchange of emotions. A true love must contain love, must have an attitude of wanting to give and share to support each other's lives. We may have mistakenly thought that love is higher than love. In truth, love is only stronger than love in terms of emotional satisfaction, but love is greater than love in terms of understanding and empathy. That is, love leans towards enjoyment, while love leans towards responsibility. In a couple's relationship, if love trumps love, it is like straw fire—brutal; And if love overwhelms love, it will be like a coal fire—forever smoldering. Although we start out with love thunder, if we know how to identify and let go of unnecessary demands, wholeheartedly care about the life of our loved ones, understand their difficulties or desires and wholeheartedly help, we will have true love.

The poet Xuan Dieu once discovered the reasons why love often breaks: "People suffer because love is not the way / Love is wrong and love is not aimed at people."

Always remember, all phenomena in this world must depend on each other to survive. Love is no exception. There is no such thing as love if it is separate from other factors such as peace, stability, tolerance, openness, listening, etc. Even without family, friends, society, economics, politics, morality and even nature, love has no place to exist. So, if we know how to go back to taking care of things that seem to be outside of love, it is also taking care of love.

Yet when we fall in love, we often only pay attention to each other's desires, all the time wrapped tightly together not daring to leave half a step. When one party cannot meet the satisfaction, boredom and betrayal of each other are inevitable. At that time, the party that stays will easily collapse because they see nothing left to live. The poet Han Mozi once lamented, "He who walks half my soul dies/ The other half is foolish." In fact, I never give half my soul to anyone. Just because half (or both) of our lives depend on the other person's feelings, when they're gone, we have no place to hang on. The addiction is tormenting me.

Sometimes we are also very pragmatic, coming to love in a way that is more contested than contested as in the economic battlefield. To demand is to demand. We see him as a solid security for our lives. Therefore, the phrase "find a berth" now means finding a place that can guarantee yourself a prosperous life, not losing to friends. This view is also deeply influenced by the social mind. Looking closely, we will see that these demands only bring about temporary emotions through the appreciation of those who live in form, but they are crazy fantasies that undermine love. Yet we still firmly believe that if we had all these things, our lives would be happier. So my lust doesn't stop, and his energy is squeezed to exhaustion by me, so the two souls grow further and further apart. If our partner, out of passion, still tries to spoil us, they themselves are living in fantasies. If you are not rooted in the foundation of true love, don't ask why just because you disagree with each other, hurt each other, or even continue to satisfy each other, you can easily leave each other.

Once the poet Xuan Dieu confessed to himself: "I am so stupid, so stupid / I only know how to love, I don't understand anything." Love is like a green plant, if we don't know how to nurture it, either excess or lack, it will wither and wither. Emotions satisfy anyone who doesn't like. But that satisfaction must be accompanied by responsibility in order for us to preserve it forever. And if the boundaries of true ego are broken to make room for them, then the responsibility of guiding each other toward true leisure and happiness is no longer a burden or a reluctance. The question is, do we have the ability to open our hearts? If we still attach too much importance to material things, get stuck in fame, indulge in attractive forms, but want to have a lasting love, it is only ambition. If we love ourselves so much, how can we love more people. Even if we love others, we only serve ourselves. If the object sees all these means as the main reason for love to be present, we know that it is not half worth finding. However, if we are good enough and brave, we can still lead all objects in the direction we choose without fear of "Love is wrong and love is not aimed at people".

Whether love is real or not depends on the strength and capacity of each person's heart. The trick is to stay alert to recognize ourselves and understand the person we love.