Successful Transplants: Relocating Your Urban Offspring with Ease - The Rike

Author: Sheri Dixon

It's been tried everything and every resource has been used to its fullest. You and your partner (if you have one) have worked hard for what seems like forever to reach one amazing goal: the Family Homestead. You have been dedicated, determined, and sometimes tired.

With a mix of joy and sadness, you call your children together and say, "Kids, start packing your things." We're moving out to the country!"

Everyone responds with cheers and obvious excitement, except for one child who stays quiet, her head hung low with doubt. You're shocked and ask, "What's wrong with you, my dear?"

This child stays still, as if she were cut out of stone, except for her eyes, which are fixed on yours with unshakable intensity. She says three words slowly, carefully, and without breaking eye contact: "I'm not going."

It doesn't matter if the child is 16 or 6, you must not laugh or get angry right now.

No matter what age the child is, their feelings about such a big change in their lives should be respected.

You might want to give in to your guilt, hug your child, and say, "I'm sorry, sweetheart." Why did we do what we did? We'll stay here in the Mountain View Apartments, which have a view of the busy Fast Food and Chain Store Range across the street! Take twenty bucks and go to the mall to make things better.

You could also get angry and say, "We've worked hard to get here, and you're not an adult; you're our child, for crying out loud!" You'll do what we say, live where we pick, and ask "how high?" when we tell you to jump. Does that make sense? "Get a job, grow up, and move back to the city if you don't like it."

Your first response will make you miserable until your child moves out. When she does, you'll find that she spent all your money at the mall, making it impossible for you to move. The second response will make your child miserable until she leaves, which will make your life miserable for a long time.

Would you be interested in the Rules of Ate as a third option?

These "rules" are really just steps that have nothing to do with food. No, there are more than eight of them, but we're not talking about how disorganized I am right now. Instead, we're going to talk about a big problem with your child, and I'm here to help. You don't have to thank me now.

Getting kids to live in the country Rule No. 1: Check Leaving everything you know and moving to a new place, even if it's only a few blocks away, can be scary for adults of any strength. Think about things from the point of view of a child who might not have known any other home or town. If this child is old enough to go to school and has friends, the idea seems impossible to them. Talk to her about her worries and fears about the move and really listen to what she has to say. Tell her you'll do everything you can to make the change go smoothly. That she won't lose touch with her old friends and will have the chance to make new ones, and mean it.

Second rule for moving kids to the country: make new things. If you and your family haven't spent much time outside without roofs or walls, now is a great time to start camping. Take it easy at first. Start with picnic lunches and Sunday drives in the country. Start with day trips where you eat outside more than once, and end with a campfire party with S'mores and marshmallows. Even though most of us won't be camping on our own land, getting used to being outside is important for being happy in the country. It would be even better if you could find farming classes or events that you could go to and take part in.

Getting kids to live in the country Rule 3: Get used to it Spend some time in your new area. Go to the playground, the feed store, and the food shop. Go to school and meet the teachers. You can use the internet to get to know your new area if you're too far away to do it in person. Get things that remind you of your new home, like newspaper clippings, restaurant menus, school newsletters, park information, and flyers for community events. There is something that every small town is proud of, whether it's a yearly event or a unique place to visit. Find out more about these interesting things. Getting used to a new place should also include finding familiar spots to use as guides. Where is the mall close by? How close is Chuck E. Cheese? Knowing that these comforts are close by will make the move to a new place easier.

Getting kids to live in the country Rule 4: Take some time to meditate. Encourage people to think of the good things about going to the country. Think about the jobs that everyone in the family will have to do once you're settled in. Picture what your days will be like on the farm even though you live in the city now. Come up with a way for your child's friends to stay in touch with each other. Because of the internet, they can talk to each other on websites, blogs, social media sites, and email. Another choice is to call friends, so give your child a set amount of time each month to do this. Having a sleepover at your new home, if you're not moving too far away, will help your child's friends picture her in a specific place, not just "the countryside" or "that farm."

Rule Five of Moving Kids to the Country: Start a fight. Make sure that your kids have some fun things to do when you leave. If you're making a house, you should listen to their suggestions as long as they're safe, don't break any rules of physics, and don't cost too much. In the big picture, does it really matter that your child's room is purple? And aren't ideas like a bed in a tree, a slide into the tub, or a window for watching the stars before bed just brilliant? Getting your child involved in planning, budgeting, shopping, building, and finishing your farm will help her feel like she owns it. You should also find outdoor things that interest her. Does she love going to the yard, taking care of animals, preserving food, keeping records, making soap, or even raising yaks? Help her make her hobbies a fulfilling business and encourage her to do so, even if it's more about personal happiness than making money.

Getting kids to live in the country Sixth Rule: Make Your family is ready for the most exciting journey ever if you've gone through Rules One through Five. Ready for the difficulties, wins, losses, and failures that come with living what some people call the "Simple Life."

Thanks for coming to your new house.

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